Read these two sentences:
Sentence 1:
“Your performance this year has been excellent but there were a few misses that could have been avoided.
Sentence 2:
“There were a few misses that could have been avoided but your performance this year has been excellent.”
What is different between the two sentences?
The difference is literally what you place before and after the “BUT”.
Because where you place the “but” changes the complete meaning of the sentence.
The word “but” has the effect of cancelling out or diminishing anything said before it.
When we share feedback, we often place the positive before the but and the negative after.
And even though we don’t intend this, the effect is to reduce the positive and focus on the negative.
So next time you share a mix of a positive and negative message be mindful of where you want the recipient to focus