Being a high achiever means that you are on a constant journey to scale bigger and higher mountain heights.  But as you move from one achievement to the next you may find yourself unable to stop, even momentarily, before moving on to the next pursuit. When you experience fatigue you probably dig deeper and keep on going. And as you do that you may experience an inner niggle that tells you to pause. This may either be in the form of exhaustion, loss of concentration or something bigger like an impact on your health. More often than not you will ignore the niggle and continue to push yourself to perform at the same pace that you always have.  I can already picture a lot of you nodding your heads when you read this and I know that I myself have been guilty of doing this. Most of us even take pride over being on top of our game inspite of what we may be experiencing.

Before I continue, I want to clarify that this discussion is not about being driven in your career or wanting to grow. The problem in focus is when you start operating from something other than self motivation.

1. You almost never take a moment to appreciate your achievements.  Instead when you hit a milestone you feel empty and start stressing about what comes next.
2. You are scared to even think about what slowing down means.
3. At some level you know that it is only a matter of time before you have to slow down.
4. You tie your self-worth to your achievements; so less achievements ergo a lesser you.
5. You constantly compare yourself with fellow professionals and want to be sure your achievements outshine theirs.

Childhood conditioning is where it starts for most people. In a competitive environment performance comparison starts as early as in the crib. Parents unknowingly often set the expectation with their children by comparing them with their peers or sibling This is often supported by school grading systems that award and honour only the top performers. When kids move to college it gets worse because it is constantly passed upon them that just a regular old average degree is not enough. There have to be x number of skills, accolades and extra curricular activities tagged to them for them to make it big in life. While I would not want to get into the discussion of merits and demerits of what such a system does, with relevance to the topic at hand, it does lead  many of us to believe that we are only as good as the number of achievements listed on our report cards. This belief and resulting behaviours continue to manifest in our adult professional and personal life.

1. Hustling for approval: If approval of yourself is strongly tied to what others think of you then the need to be appreciated will be a constant pressure to keep up to a certain standard.
2. The environmental messaging: Like the messaging we get in our childhood, the message we get from most of our workplaces is that we need to be constantly riding high.
3. Fear of what stopping means: While many of us are loath to even admit this one there are many patterns to this. Fear can mean different things to different people. Some examples are:
   1. Fear of being overtaken by other stronger players
   2. Fear of losing what you’ve achieved
   3. Fear of not being able to restart if you stop
   4. Fear of admitting that you may have reached your peak
   5. Fear of being seen as weak or obsolete

1. Clarify  and acknowledge what you are feeling: Understanding and acknowledging your feelings will help you connect with your inner thoughts and help resolve them. Constantly ignoring what you feel will not make it go away but will instead make their appearances in other unforeseen ways.

2. Understand your fear: Just like your feelings your fears also need to be acknowledged and worked on. Understand what is making you afraid. More often than not our fears are more frightening  than the reality if it were to happen. When you understand the level from which your fear is arising you may find that many of them are based on assumptions and not facts. If you can overcome your fears you will find yourself in a state where you again operate from optimal energy and motivation.

3. Link yourself to the big picture: Comparison with others can only cause stress. Instead start thinking of yourself as part of a bigger whole.If someone else is bringing their strengths appreciate it and work towards complimenting them to create a stronger team.

4. Appreciate yourself: Next time you achieve your next big goal take time off to celebrate. Self appreciation is as important as appreciation from others.

5. Understand what matters to you: Before trying to fulfil the expectations of those around you it is important to know what matters to you. What do you want and why  do you want it? It is important to scale new heights and work towards achieving our best but if the victory seems empty you are only fooling yourself by clinging to its worth.

6. Understand the advantages of pausing: Whether you like it or not your body, mind and soul need the time off to recuperate and re-energise. By pausing to take a breath and appreciating your worth you are sending a strong message to yourself about the greatness of your capabilities.

After all – “Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” – Guillaume Apollinaire