John is one of my clients. We came in contact, after his organization hired me to support his transition into the new role of a Vice President (VP). He had been part of the succession plan in the organization and had been a high performer for a longtime. After a few sessions, John confessed to feeling low and empty after his promotion. He had always aspired to become a Vice President in his organisation. He had been working there for close to 8 years and the last few years had been focused on the goal of making it to VP. But once the euphoria of becoming a VP vanished, the reality was not what he expected.
He broadly classified his issue in 3 categories:
- The excitement and elation of working towards a big goal had kept him going. But now that he had reached the goal he missed the focus and anticipation.
- He had assumed that when he became a VP, he would love the job but instead he felt out of his depth and was struggling to keep up.
- For the last few years he had worked really hard and had subconsciously hoped to take it slow after he became a VP. But the nature of the job required more focus and effort than his previous role. He felt burnt out and not up to taking on the work.
This unfortunately is the big problem with meeting ones goals. The reality at the end of the journey is often different from what we anticipate.
We assume when we reach our goal, life will get easier, we will be happier and everything will be right with the world. More often than not, it does not work that way. Reaching a goal, leads to new, and often, unforeseen challenges. An example of this could be people who spend years working hard to prepare for retirement. When retirement happens they feel lost and miss their purpose.
Reaching the goal and managing the goal after you reach it are two different things.
A different approach to looking at goals:
What are you aiming for? A goal can be two things; it can be a milestone or the journey after the milestone. When you set a goal, a good approach is to clearly evaluate what you are really aiming for. John was able to look back and reassess that his initial aim had been to have a position of power. At some point he identified that VP would be a good level for him to feel powerful. When he thought back on why power was important he realised he had wanted it to be able to make business decisions and drive changes. Somewhere along the way the purpose behind the goal was lost and the milestone become the main focus. When John was able to reconnect to his purpose of making business decisions and driving change his view of his job changed. The key point here is to be clear on the purpose behind your goal. The milestone is your measure but not the outcome. What you want to achieve by reaching the goal has to be the focus of your journey.
Plan for the after goal journey: Whatever your goal may be the plan for what you will do after you achieve it is important. For most professional and career goals the “real” work starts after you get to your goal. This is like getting your college degree. The real job starts after college but your entire college life is aimed at making it successfully through the final exams. This does not take away the effort that will still be needed to find a job or acquire additional skills if needed. The plan for your goal needs to include a plan for sustaining your success. It is okay to pause and celebrate your success for a bit but defining your next growth path is important.
It’s the journey and not the destination that provides the thrill. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi defines flow as a state of being so focused and motivated with what you are doing that you lose all sense of time and self and feel highly energized. His research indicates that optimal experience comes not from reaching goals but rather from enjoying what you are doing to get there and having a clear purpose. It is then but obvious then that no goal in life can be finite and to stay happy and continue growing we need an ever-increasing challenge and purpose to keep us going.
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar